You know those commercials.

“Help!  Help”

Or…

“Help.  I’ve fallen and I can’t get up.”

The ones vendors make hoping they can sucker us to buy their devices.  (Note: The device is one thing- it’s the monthly fee that these marketers are really after.   The costs range from about $ 125 to $ 625 for thay first year of service.)

The vendors have convinced 3 million of us to sport panic buttons or pendants.  Expecting us to fall when we can’t use our phones to reach 911.

I’m not saying this doesn’t happen.  After all, back when my youngest was around 5,  my son and I intervened in one such situation.  This happened when we were walking home from shul.  (Actually, we were walking home from a temporary place where we prayed while our shul was being rebuilt.)   And, I heard a faint cry for help.  We followed the sound and I had to break down the door,  to find a woman on the floor, with food on the stove and in the oven.  She had fallen and couldn’t get up.

So, yes, it happens.  And, that woman was very lucky I have good hearing- and wasn’t above breaking down a door.  (And, I was lucky that no one sued me for the damaged door frame…)

Here in the DC area, we have a local group- Consumer’s Checkbook– that began operations in 1974.  Like the more well-known Consumer’s Union, this entity verifies the claims that vendors may make about their products.

One such study these folks have undertaken was the evaluation of these ‘alert devices’.  They worked with the Arlington County’s 911 center (the Emergency Communication Center) to determine whether the devices worked as promised or not.

The first problem?   Reaching 911.  After all, most of these devices divert the phone calls to their own centers- and then THEY call 911.  Which means a crucial delay is built into their response systems.

This test involved 9 devices, where the alarm was depressed some 290 times across the Metropolitan DC region.  Had the alarms been transmitted directly to the Arlington 911 center, the calls would have been handled within 10 seconds 90% of  the time and within 20 seconds 95% of the time. But, with the routing of the alarms to the vendors first (the normal mode of operation for these devices), the call center responses were greatly delayed.

Only 3 vendors managed to pick up the messaging device call within 30 seconds.  3 more tarried enough that they average a 1 minute response time- and some of these calls were unanswered for 2, 3, or MORE minutes.  (Note that a 1 minute delay means a medical emergency borders on medical tragedy.)

Consumer’s Checkbooks didn’t monitor how long it took the delayed vendor response to transmit the call to 911 centers.  And, those 911 centers have been trained to get salient information quickly, completely, and to dispatch the proper response. They can also coach folks to provide CPR or to stem bleeding as they wait for the trained professionals-  that’s not true for these alert system vendors.

And, not only is there that delay.  It’s their accuracy in denoting where the subject may be.  (According to Consumer’s Checkbook, one vendor claimed the subject was in China!)   This is also what many emergency centers claim when they get calls from these device vendors. Which means an even longer delay in emergency response.

The final issue- false alarms.  Which means the emergency teams end up going where they are not needed- delaying the response for a true emergency victim as they are tied up with the false alarms.

Given these situations, Consumer’s Checkbook didn’t feel it was acceptable to recommend anyone purchase such a device.  But, if one didn’t really care that they were being potentially duped,  Consumer’s Checkbook could suggest GreatCall Lively Mobile.  Primarily because that device can be programmed to directly reach the local emergency center (bypassing the company’s call center).  It also employs cellular 911 location technology, providing greater accuracy in dispatching the life-saving crews.

No matter which device you buy, they suggest that you “dry run” emergencies during the 30 day evaluation period.  (They suggest 10 to 15 times at various days, locations, and days of the week.)  If the response is tepid- return the device for the full refund.  (If you keep the device, do not forget to complete your profile- providing medical conditions, prescriptions, dosages.  That way the call center operator can better transmit critical information on your behalf)

Oh, and that vaunted ‘fall detection’ option.  To quote the Sopranos- fuhgeddaboudit!