Let me set the scene.

Almost exactly 53 years ago.

I took a bus (ok, a few) to Providence, Rhode Island. Got a cab to the admissions office.  For my 9:30 AM appointment.   This school (OK, it’s not a secret which school it really is) had courted me to come visit the place. So, they could convince me to matriculate.

(I had reservations.  Many of the folks I knew had warned me that this school would not truly welcome me.  Not because of my age.  Because of my religion.  But, it was my second college interview and I wanted to hone my technique.)

After waiting 10 minutes (come on, you know I got there early), some young fellow and his dad came through the door.  And, as (I would love to tell you his name, but I really forgot it- decades ago) “Dr. John Doe” came out of his office, he spied the pair, sped up to them, shook their hands and began a conversation.  It was absolutely clear that daddy was a graduate of this fine institution. And, that their appointment was around 10:30.  But, Dr. Doe took the pair into his office and left me waiting.

What I should have done was walk out.  But, I waited the hour. Because one of the folks I wished to study with was Dr. Pierre Galletti of that institution.  So, after an hour of waiting, I finally had my interview.  And, then I left.

It was an important lesson.  Universities may claim they operate as meritocracies, but they really don’t.  They have quotas.  (My father was told decades earlier that Woods Hole doesn’t accept Jews.  So, his desire to study marine science never got beyond the dream stage.  And, most Ivy League schools had quotas for Jewish folks through the 1960s.)  They also prefer to take their own (legacies- children of graduates).

So, I wasn’t surprised to hear of the indictment of some 50 folks involved in securing admission to the elite schools of the US.  (Less surprised that more than 750 were also clients of this slimeball.  And, he’s not the only slimeball in the business!)

After all, our elite universities provide entree to the world.  Graduating from them means you are fairly well assured to earn higher earnings than one who graduated from Podunk U.  Not only because it is assumed you are brighter, smarter, faster than the average bear- but because of the connections one can make from attending these hallowed halls.

This is even more important now that most of us work for behemoths, those large corporations that the government has decided are not monopolies.  (Back when I went to school, there were many family businesses to be inherited by the next generations.  And, most parents were thrilled if their kids “made” college- any college.)

Only about 5 to 7% of those applying make these schools- including valedictorians, those with 1600 on the SAT’s,  2400 on the 3 required achievement tests, even those with great recommendations.  (I was among those with the last three qualifications; note that achievement tests are no longer required nor administered by the College Board).  Which means graduating from such an elite institution is that “leg up” many a parent hopes to deliver for their kids.  Which is why all those SAT prep classes, admission counseling service, etc. abound in the USA.

Or, that there is a “culture of corruption and greed that created an uneven playing field for students trying to get into these schools the right way, through hard work, good grades and community service.”   (Joseph Bonavolonta, Special Agent-in-Charge, FBI.)

We all know that a certain son-in-law managed to matriculate in Harvard simply because his father donated a few bucks.  ($ 2.5 million, to be specific.)  Right before that father was sentenced to 14 months in prison.  (Yes, you know from where that money came.)

Or, that when William Rick Singer arranged for folks to take ACT and SAT exams for these folks (I can’t believe these test agencies haven’t stopped this practice after all their claims to control this behavior), several of the kids actually believed they were the ones that “raised” their scores by 300, 400 points.  (This is a well-known psychological situation.)  Which may explain why a certain father-in-law is certain he is the brightest person in the world because he graduated from the Wharton undergraduate (not graduate) business program.  Or, that he is a wonderful business person who built his own organization, forgetting that his daddy helped him just a little. To the tune of about $ 60 million.

And, I’ve railed for years how sports activities at our colleges are corrupting the educational system.  Where athletes help schools accumulate great riches, without sharing a dime with those helping the cause.  I really would like to know what the soccer, volleyball, water polo, tennis, and golf coaches were planning to tell their schools when these kids- whose parents bribed the coaches via William Rick Singer- were unable to even play the sports that these folks coach.

It gets better.  Many of these parents “donated” money to sham charities run by or in cahoots with Singer.  So, the bribes were written off as an itemized deduction, charity for a worthy cause.  WTF????????

Other than the IRS false tax submissions issue- which will probably pose the biggest threat to these alleged criminals- this is simply a case of private property theft.  The right of the colleges to make their own decisions about who is or is not admitted to their institutions.  After all, having daddy (or mommy) donate a few million to a school to get Junior or Debutante into their hallowed halls is an acceptable practice- but paying an employee of that institution (such as a coach) is not allowed.  Only if the school gets the money is this an acceptable practice.  (Yes, I said that with a straight face.)

But, the waters are already getting muddied.  One prominent columnist (I removed the terminology with which I first classified Mr. Frank Bruni of the NY Times for this blog) averring that these crassly hypocritical parents who are charged “are proud liberals who talked about the importance of equal opportunity and an even playing field, then went out and did whatever it took to push their kids into the winner’s circle. In this case, they doomed them, imparting garbage values and mortifying them along the way.”   Except for, perhaps, Felicia Huffman- and maybe Bill McGlashan, most are way right of center. And, even so, we are dealing with the privileged 1%.

You know, the ones who want to sell the rest of us on meritocracy and that the American Dream still exists.

 

 

By the way- happy Pi Day.  (You know 3-14.)