Clarity of Direction, Purpose, and Values |

Have you ever heard of the Perfect Boundaries exercise?

I am pretty certain when you first hear of this, it will be unsettling.

Basically, it’s the concept that we will say no to almost any request or desire that we receive from another person. This is an outgrowth of the work done by Gal Zauberman and John Lynch (back when they were at Duke University. [Resource Slack and Propensity to Discount Delayed Investments of Time Versus Money.] They actually called it the “yes damn” effect.

It seems that we humans have this psychological bias, we often agree to take on way too many future commitments. And, then regret that choice, when it is imperative that we complete our tasks. We end up being larded with obligations without any space for rest or relaxation as we desperately attempt to complete each of our goals- and the ones to which we assented when folks asked for our help.

We have this flaw in our memory, our imagination- in particular, how much slack time we have. (Slack is the perceived surplus of a given resources that we need to complete a local task. We expect greater slack availability in the future than we have in the present.)

That’s the theory behind the Perfect Boundaries Exercise. Where we practice saying no to al outside requests. In so doing, we can protect ourselves and ensure that “small request from another”, won’t make us fall terribly behind in reaching our goals. (Note: If you REALLY know you have plenty of free time, then saying no is NOT the proper response!)

For most of us, it is too hard to accurately estimate how long each new activity will take. (Unless we just double the amount of time we think it will take.- that is my rule of thumb). Yes, it does make our schedule assume to be busier that it may be, but it will prevent us from over-committing and then falling short of meeting our goals.

But, by adopting this process, we will have developed increased free time and reduced stress. Less stress is something we alĺ know we can use!

Which means we can accomplish our goals.

To achieve our goals, we need to have clarity of direction and clarity of purpose, of course, But, we also need clarity of values. We must make sure what we are trying to accomplish is coincident with the values we hold.

In other words, what do we wish to create? And, what kind of impact do we want to have? How do we want to use our life? One way to consider these properly is to discern where do we want to be a year from now. And, then consider, what someone in our next year’s role would need to be able to do in that version of our enterprise.

Given those parameters, we must determine if we are that person right now. And, if not, what do we need to learn, unlearn, do and undo to become that person to be “all we can be” next year.