So, many of you may recall, that my youngest son married the love of his life a few weeks ago.  Which means my children all have found (and the oldest ones maintained) a loving relationship for a long time.

Which is interesting, since the data shows that folks like my kids are more likely to share a residence with a partner that with a spouse.  In general, those ranging in age from 18 to 44 are more likely to have cohabited (59%) than been married (50%).  Fifteen years ago, it would have been 60% who had been married and 54% that cohabited.  (These are the results from the General Social Survey (GSS), that’s been a project of the University of Chicago since 1972.)

Oh, wait.  There’s a but.

Those that cohabitate are less likely to be happy, have a trusting relationship, or a sense of well-being that those that are married.

At my son’s wedding last month, my middle child asked me if I were happy.  At first, I thought she meant because I had the privilege of marrying the couple and how the wedding party was going, but I realized she meant all the time. I gave her my honest answer.  Which according to this study puts me in the minority.

 

And, that happiness data is not surprising, when you consider that we cohabitate and marry for different reasons. We marry for love, we marry to grow a family.  Yet, we cohabitate for convenience and financial reasons.  (Some of us also love our cohabitants- but we are also unsure if this is a temporary or permanent relationship that we are celebrating.)

Moreover, according to a study of folks in Europe and Australia (Drs. Brienna Perelli-Harris and Stefanie Hoherz [University of Southhampton, UK], Dr. Trude Lappegård [University of Oslo], and Dr. Ann Evans [Australian National University]), it seems that we cohabitate because we feel financial and economic pressures, not because of commitment or family reasons.  Then, there’s the Pew data that shows we married Americans may be happier because we have an adequate division of household responsibilities, better communications, and partnering techniques.

Interestingly, those who lack college education are less likely to view cohabitation as a step towards marriage (71%) versus those who completed college (50%).  Which means this next result is very surprising- 53% consider their partner’s financial situation to be the impediment to marriage (29% stated it was the significant reason).

Obviously, if one were single, then sexual activity is going to be different.  But, the satisfaction of both married folks and those cohabiting with their sexual activity seems about equal.  But, married women may be more satisfied than the men.  (There is no real gap among cohabitants.)

Now, I wonder what the results would be should the Social Security set be examined.

 

While I’m at it, for those of you with both partners working, I recommend you read my daughter’s post.  It can help you get the best of both worlds.  (BTW, she posted this on my brother’s birthday.)