Ah, yes.

A phone call. Around 9 at night. From someone claiming they are investigating the Social Security fraud I perpetrated.

Yes, I hung up.

A week later, a handwritten manilla envelope appears, with a Jamaica Estates return address, and a real stamp. Inside is a Xeroxed-copy form with handwriting on it, claiming I am ineligible to receive social security because I made too much money. Oh- there’s no agency logo, just a return address in Jamaica Estates. (Oh, I forgot to explain that-  Jamaica Estates is a part of Queens, NY; as an ex-New Yorker, I knew that, but you might not.)

Fast forward three months.

 

An official letter- with a real address (the Social Security Administration headquarters), franked and not stamped arrives.
This time with real threats that I have refused to answer the notices. (Hmm. That was one handwritten, less-than-official-looking document.)

But, they got my attention. I call the number on the letter.

Oh, wait. Yes, that’s what I had to do, since the IRS answers calls even faster than the Social Security Administration does.

And, I reach a peon. Who informs me (after verifying my date of birth, social security number, city of birth, current address) that my wages for 2014 were twice as high as I know they are. (By the way, that shouldn’t stop me from getting social security- it just means my benefits would be taxable. But, this peon will have none of that- she only knows how to read what’s on her screen.)

So, I do the only thing logical when dealing with an automaton. I request the name and address for someone who will be able to process my reply.   (“Sorry, we don’t give that out.”)

And, being an Enrolled Agent, I am most familiar with how I can obtain my income records from an impeccable source. I do that- I obtain the transcript of my earnings from the IRS for three years. (Over the years of dealing with bureaucracies, I have learned that they often mistake the year they wish to investigate, so one’s reply doesn’t  really solve the problem.)

Feeling smug with my data, I submit my reply to the Social Security Administration.

And… nothing.

That’s right. No reply, no admission, no follow-up. And, my social security checks continue being deposited.

Cue forward six months.

The Social Security Administration provides me proof via mail that my income was twice what the IRS and I think. Why? Because they claim my employer provided me two W-2’s.

First of all, one company can only provide ONE W-2 to each employee. The second one, should it be produced, will be marked “corrected”. (Yes, I know some folks get two pages of W-2’s, but that’s because they had taxes withheld from multiple states. That’s not two W-2’s.) I state so on the phone call to the Social Security Administration.  To which they reply I am wrong.  I ask how one could submit two W-2’s to the Social Security Administration. Since, I know from experience, when entering the data on their website, one is stopped if a W-2 were already issued for that employee. This idiot argues with me and says my employer must have mailed in a second W-2.

Secondly, I AM the employer’s CEO. I know I didn’t issue two W-2’s. I state so. She hung up.

30 days later, I get a letter from the IRS. Informing me I owe a fortune in taxes, penalties, and interest, since I only paid taxes on half my earnings. You see, the Social Security Administration complained to the IRS that I had two W-2’s. And, since (for years now) we no longer send in our W-2’s and W-3’s to the IRS, but to the Social Security Administration, the IRS acts on actions (and errors) being made by the Social Security Administration.

I call the IRS. Who won’t help me. Because I am a taxpayer, not an employer, nor was I authorized to deal directly with this office.

So, I figured if the IRS wants to play that game, I’ll one-up them. I produce a Power of Attorney for me and my employer for me (as the Enrolled Agent) to negotiate with the IRS.

And, I did. And, the IRS agreed with me. Not right away- they needed to do some investigation. (And, that investigation determined that only one W-2 can be issued, so I had to be right.)

I notified the Social Security Administration. In writing.

And…

Nothing.

Cue ahead one year. (Yes, it’s now 2018.)

I am informed that I cheated the Social Security Administration and they are about to withhold my checks.

 

I call the number found on the letter. And, am told they can only handle generic questions on this line. Instead, I should go to my local Social Security Administration office.

Which I do. To find out that waiting is the name of the game. Waiting with folks who don’t speak English, hoping for a T number. With folks holding babies, hoping to obtain a social security number. With folks like me confounded by the stupidity of this administration.

Two hours of waiting later, my number is called. And, I reach a nice lady who had no idea what to do with the documentation I provide. (The threatening letter from the administration, the certified documents from the IRS proving that I only made half what the administration claims, my tax returns.) She calls in the director. They collude together and write a series of notes for someone else to review. (Can you believe they have ZERO power in this office to make any decisions. So much for being the regional director.)

And, then, my checks stopped. Period.

And, a few days later, I get the same letter. Again. (Which is when I checked and found I hadn’t been paid five days earlier, as had been the norm.) Now I am really ticked off. And, I trek off to the (useless) regional office, since you can’t reach anyone with answers on the phone. With basically the same result.

 

So, i contact my local representative, Don Beyer. Now, I have only once before in my life contacted an elected national official with a problem. And, that was more than 2 decades ago, when I needed Senator John Warner’s help with the VA. They hadn’t paid us about $1/4 million for dialysis products- and we were under contract to provide them with another $1/4 million worth for the year- but we needed money. Senator Warner got us paid in 10 days.

Not quite the same success with Don Beyer. Who pawned the request off to an aide who was as useless as the people answering the phone for the Social Security Administration. All he did was forward my letters to the administration. He didn’t even bother reading them. (I will explain this below.)

But, my letters (which I brought to the local office and faxed into the headquarters) did get some action.

I got a letter back telling me they determined that I was overpaid by the Social Security Administration. By exactly $ 7 a month. For a total overpayment of $ 279. Except by the time this letter arrived, I was out FIVE Social Security payments. Oh, yeah. They were going to start my social security payments this month- at a rate lower than when I first received a check some 7 years ago. And, if I didn’t agree, I had five days to respond.

And, then a note from the useless Don Beyer aide arrives. Telling me that the case was settled. And, I should be happy.

I’m sure he wasn’t happy with my reply to him. (Nor will this post make him happy. Like I care- since he didn’t bother reading my letter to see that I wasn’t paid twice what I claimed on my tax return, that my 1099’s from the Social Security Administration showed that only costs of living increases were present. (OK. As opposed to the administration, I could be confused that $ 7 of my payment may not have been part of that cost of living change, since it was such a small part of the annual rise.)

While it’s taken the Social Security Administration years to develop the fact, they’ve provided no apology for their mistakes. They’ve stopped my payments (which was not even mentioned in the letter). And, they give me all of five days to respond.

Which i did. Reminding them they owed me thousands more than than they claim I owe. And, that the very lowest my monthly Social Security payment should be is about 11% higher than what they quoted in their last letter, since there have been several cost of living increases that totaled that amount.

And, yes, it’s been 20 days since they received my letter. And, still no reply from the incompetents at the Administration or from the useless aide.

Which is why this letter is being posted today.

Maybe public embarrassment will work better.