There are some special characteristics that leaders possess, things we can’t always see in their pedigree. But, we see them clearly when we watch them interact with others.

One of the key things leaders exude is being able to relate. No, not just to their executive staff and their family. But, with all the stakeholders necessary for the firm’s success.  I realized this aspect years ago when Harry Nuckols (A”H), a semi-retired fellow we hired to be our janitor and handyman, came up to me one day and said he wanted to be my man’s man.

I had no idea about what he was talking. Then, he explained to me that he wanted to be something akin my valet. When I was done laughing, he reminded me that it wasn’t just Batman (Bruce Wayne) who had an Albert. It was folks like me, a single dad with young kids, running a growing, dynamic firm, trying to juggle family, friends, staff, clients, and my own life.

When I asked why he would want such a job with me and not continue doing what he was doing? After all, I wouldn’t be able to personally pay him as much as he was making working for my firm.
His response hit me in the gullet. He said it was because I always had a smile; I would stop to listen to a tale from folks in production, in the lab, on the street. He wanted to make sure I would always be able to do that- despite all the hustle and bustle in my life.

I realized then that one of the key qualities of being a leader is to be able to relate to folks where they are- right now- and determine what it is they need, and if I couldn’t provide same, I would at least let them know I listened and tried- and explained why I just couldn’t act on their request right now.

It then follows that folks that can lead like that can have folks who really want to follow- either to learn something or to be part of whatever it is that lets this person do what they do. It helps when you have a mission that excites others, entices them to want that mission to be achieved as well.

But, there’s more. One of the hardest things is to ensure that your team gets credit. Yes, I am a firm believer that it takes a village to accomplish great things. Sure, you and I separately can come up with the ideas and strategies that should propel our business or our team to the greatest heights.

But, we can’t do that by ourselves. We need our team, we need our followers. And, often, our strategy is a bit too sketchy, so others need to fill in some of the blanks to keep the momentum flowing. And, that means they need to get credit, too. (It makes no difference if you think you could have done it better if they got it done and your project/goal/mission is on track.)

This is why over the years I have always shared the authorship for all my technical papers. Because those folks helped get the research done, helped get the project to work, helped get the key issues communicated to others. Why should they not share the credit? I can guarantee you those folks were then even more motivated to get the next project or mission going.

And, when it fails? 99 times out of 100, we were at least partially to blame. Moreover, it was our job to assign competent folks to effect the tasks to make the project successful- which means we failed somewhere. So, we must take the responsibility for the failing- and don’t cross our hands like our five year old kids used to do screaming, “It wasn’t me, I didn’t do it.”

Which brings up a corollary. It was one of the only things with which I ever agreed with Donald Rumsfeld. Except this item- his concept of known knowns, known unknowns, and unknown unknowns.

What Rumsfeld actually said was:   “Reports that say that something hasn’t happened are always interesting to me, because as we know, there are known knowns; there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns – the ones we don’t know we don’t know. And if one looks throughout the history of our country and other free countries, it is the latter category that tend to be the difficult ones.”

It is our job to minimize the possibility of unknown unknowns, to know exactly what we know and don’t know, and to act accordingly.  Which often means were are going to hear things that don’t agree with our conceptions.  We need to determine if these ‘uncomfortables’ are truths or not; we must be able to learn what we don’t know- even if we don’t like it.  (The Jewish value is defined thusly:  Who is wise?  The person who learns from everyone.  Sorry- it does seem to lose something when translated to English.)

Which means we don’t have to be the wisest person in the room. (I’m not saying we aren’t- but we don’t have to be nor should we ever act in such a fashion.) We need everyone to work together. (This is why our firm is called Adjuvancy- we are the ones that help everyone work together, to get everyone firing on every one of their own cylinders, so that the team, the group, the company can achieve its mission.)

And, because we need to be firing on all our cylinders to lead our team, our group, it means we need to recognize that we need some recharge time. Time to replenish our reserves, calm our nerves, recognize the good in others. In my case, that has been  Shabat. The day devoted to my family, to my religion, to myself. So, I can hit the deck running at full blast.

Hope this helps you be the leader you want to be.