Having lived in Charlottesville for more than a decade (and Ann Arbor and Cambridge before that), I had become used to not donning a suit or sport jacket when going to shul (synagogue). As a matter of fact, in Charlottesville, where about 1/3 of the congregants were native Israeli’s going to UVA, many folks going to shul didn’t even wear “nice clothes”- jeans (not torn, of course) and slacks for women were de rigeur.

Imagine my surprise,having moved to Alexandria (where congregants chose either informal and business attire), when a new soul appeared at shul in Alexandria. He not only wore a dapper suit, amazing socks, with the requisite suspenders- he topped off his look (literally) with a bow tie and bowler hat. After a while, we became friends, Arnold and I.

He asserted that he was libertarian.  But, back then, libertarian tended to be way closer to conservatism.  (Over the years,  conservatives moved further right and libertarian adopted a different stance.)  And, we debated the topics of the day. Little by little, I learned more about Arnold.

He told me about his stint working for a belt manufacturer in upstate New York. How much he enjoyed his time there. And, he also told me about his work at API (the American Petroleum Institute)- about which he was surprised at my negative feelings towards the lobbying group, since I was a chemical engineer. (I don’t recall his every telling me about his gig at CNA- the Center for Naval Analysis; I’m guessing he didn’t want to hear my take on that group, either. But, I’ve since learned that was among his most favorite efforts.)

Arnie (I may have been the only one to call him that; he was Arnold to most- and to some very old friends- “Mo”) told me he earned his degree in economics from the University of Chicago- which put him in good stead with his political beliefs. And, that he earned his Bachelor’s at the University of Richmond (one of the most beautiful campuses in Virginia; and a place where my daughter spent a wonderful summer).

Arnie was in love with his wife, Joan. Most of us say that- but Arnie demonstrated it each and every day. And, Arnie knew his wife loved to drive (his driving was more attuned to a Harley or, later on, his Honda motorcycle)- so he let her drive everywhere. Knowing Arnie for some 20+ years, I don’t recall his ever driving anywhere.

Which explains how Arnie found himself being driven to a congregational retreat near Rising Sun, Maryland. (One of my favorite exit signs on I-95 denotes: Rising Sun, North East). Along the way we passed almost all the other congregants (who had left earlier than we) attending the weekend events. And, as Arnold noted, “I no longer doubt you were a race car driver”.  And, it was a great weekend- full of fun and learning. (OK. Arnold was less than enthusiastic about the drive there and back.)

Arnie (and Joan) were also members of a tora study group we started in the last part of 1999. We met at different folks’ houses, sharing food, news about our families, and covered the books of the Tanach (Tora- the first five books, Neviim- the prophets, and Ktuvin- the writing of Psalms, Lamentations, Esther, and Ruth, among others. Notice that the first letters of these sections in Hebrew are T, N, Ch– hence TaNaCh). OK. We covered the Tanach- almost twice over the ensuing almost 16 years. And, over that time, we became a close-knit group.

What our entire group also recognized was that  Arnie was a mentsch. (Look it up!) He did more than he talked- and he talked plenty.

Unfortunately, Arnie died recently. He was able to do so at home, because he and Joan had purchased a home near the shul and spent almost a year rearranging it so that they could age in place.

While y’all don’t know him, I can assure you that, despite that, the world is a little less full right now.

(Almost at the same time, one of my mom’s best friends growing up passed away. Elaine Neff. Who was a frequent visitor to our home (and my grandparent’s place). I remember Elaine fondly-  she gave me my first train set at 2 and my first set of blocks shortly thereafter. She moved away before I was four, so she and her husband could open one of the first Hallmark franchised-stores. Only to meet up with her- and her fully grown daughter, Randi-some fifty years later when we found ourselves frequently the same shul in DC, The National Synagogue.)

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